Numbers

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  Psalm 90:12

There’s been a lot of dying this week. Death occurs all the time, of course, but this week seemed especially poignant. First Dolly Parton passing at age 80, apparently the one person or topic in the universe that all Americans agree on. Then Wendell Berry, one of my favorite authors and poets, went home at 92. Then a woman in our congregation’s mother passed away. Then my own mother-in-law, Beverly Harris, died in Seattle at age 93. And of course, with the 25th anniversary of 9-11 this week, we remember another 3,000 people from 70 countries who did not survive the four attacks on the U.S. in 2001. It’s a lot of dying.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.”  I don’t know if I’m personally getting any wiser, but it’s clear to me I’m getting older. Oh, I can still run and bike and hike and work out hard, my mind is still clear (I think) but…it feels like a corner is being turned. Am I numbering my days in the way the Psalmist recommends? Numbering our days is the encouragement to focus on the things that matter most. That seems like wise practice anytime. Teach us to number our days.

Recently an idea formed in the middle of some random reflection times. I found myself jotting down elements to a chart that transposes the four seasons of nature onto four seasons of human life. I know it’s not an original thought, but I’m not positive where it comes from. I know that the 19th century English poet John Keats (“Ode on a Grecian Urn”) pondered such things in an 1818 sonnet. Nietzsche played with it a bit in Human, All Too Human. AI tells me that someone named Jim Rohn used it to plot the path for sure financial success in 1981. Whatever the inspiration, a few weeks ago I began scribbling some defining questions, activities and characteristics for each stage.

–Spring: Birth to 20 Years Old 

·         The Identity Question: Who am I?

·         The Activity: Exploring my world.

·         The Wonder Question: How does the world work?

·         The Yearning: How do I get approval?

·         The Faith Question: Who is God?

–Summer: 30s & 40s

·         The Identity Question: Who do I want to be?

·         The Activity: Finding stability in education, relationships, and finances.

·         The Wonder Question: What is the relationship of meaning and economics?

·         The Yearning: How do I change the world and get recognized for it?

·         The Faith Question: I’m running hard; is God with me?

–Fall: 50s & 60s

·         The Identity Question: Maybe I am not the center of the universe?

·         The Activity: Passing things on to younger generations.

·         The Wonder Question: This won’t last forever, will it?

·         The Yearning: What else do I want to do while I still can?

·         The Faith Question: Is God more present, or am I just noticing more?

–Winter: 70s & Above

·         The Identity Question: Who am I if I can’t do what I used to do?

·         The Activity: Learning the delight of small things.

·         The Wonder Question: Have I done enough?

·         The Yearning: Am I paying attention?

·         The Faith Question: Lord, are you with me?  Lord, will you catch me?

One of the startling things about putting this down on paper was realizing that I am clearly in late fall. It’s not winter yet, but the leaves are definitely falling! Now, of course any framework like this is artificial, loaded with generalities and overlaps and exceptions. But beneath all of that is this reassuring truth (Romans 14, Heidelberg Catechism, Brief Statement of Faith): “In life and in death we belong to God.” Any among us could be in their final numbered day. Are we focusing on the things that matter most? William Stafford, a decorated poet from Oregon, had the fascinating habit of writing one poem every morning. Every morning. Here’s one of my favorites:

The Way It Is

There’s a thread you follow. It goes among

things that change. But it doesn’t change.

People wonder about what you are pursuing.

You have to explain about the thread.

But it is hard for others to see.

While you hold it you can’t get lost.

Tragedies happen; people get hurt

or die; and you suffer and get old.

Nothing you do can stop time’s unfolding.

You don’t ever let go of the thread.

And so, no matter the season–we number our days. We hold onto the thread we name Jesus. We know at least that much.

Peace of Christ,

Dan Baumgartner

Dan Baumgartner is the senior pastor at The Cove in Santa Rosa CA and currently serves on The Fellowship Community Board.

These are the expressed views of Dan Baumgartner and not necessarily broader views of The Fellowship Community.